01. Rushing to board the plane will not make you arrive at your destination any faster. So, just follow the instruction to board according to your seat number. The chance to lose the space for your carry-ons in the overhead compartment right above your seat is quite thin. Even when it happened, you wouldn’t lose much. Why, you plan to exit the plane as fast as you can? Is there any gold medal for the first one to clear immigration, or to exit the hall? Are you that important? You know, the most important people fly their private jets. So relax and stay in order, Economy Class!
02. It is not about whether your smartphone reception can or cannot interrupt the plane’s communication system, but it is about being a civilized person who understands how to follow the rules. Yes, British Airways has let their passengers to switch on their gadgets once the wheels hit the ground, but if you’re flying other airlines, just follow the rules. Explaining to everybody that Flight Mode is okay during take-off and landing will not make you look any smarter than a fifth grader. Being a smartass will make you look like exactly a smartass and nothing more.
03. Those rows next to emergency exit judge you like mean bastards. So, if you’re obese, or skeletal, or an imp, or a hundred years old, or blind, or a cyclop, and so on, then do not push your luck to get the extra leg space there.
04. Seriously, I also find it uncomfortable to sit around noisy kids, especially on a long haul flight. But, let’s learn to play smooth, and not create more chaos by protesting like a mean bitch. First, forget about the kids, and focus on the parents. Are they trying their best to control their children, or do they think tantrums are signs of cuteness? Focus your complaint – either directly, or through inflight crews – to the bad parents. If you are an angel, you would probably try being a good neighbour and play babysitter to the kids.
05. There is a huge difference between being a happy, functional family, and a bunch of stone-age Flinstones. Non-stop chattering loudly with your group is really tacky. It is a habit to show that you actually belong to the zoo. Converse like normal people, and stop acting like circus monkeys.
06. Stewards, stewardesses and other inflight crews have the rights to send you off the plane – hopefully mid-air, too – so, pay respect! You really think paying the airfare makes you a king? Are you sure you are not a cheapo flying budget airlines? Why are you not on your private jets, my Lord? Oh, right. Because you are just one of the billions of no-special passengers! So, stop thinking that you deserve a VIP treatment and the crews are your mere drivers and maids! Smile, respect, and listen to them, and never try to outsmart them.
07. Is this your first time using headphones? Do you really have to turn up the volume so loudly? And, why would you laugh so hard at Mr. Bean when the rest of the plane is sleeping? Didn’t your mother teach you anything?
08. Just because it’s a reclining seat doesn’t mean you can stretch yourself just like that. Have a decent courtesy to check out the person sitting right behind you, and ask for a permission politely. If that person only speaks Klingon, a great eye contact and smile to tell them that you’re about to recline your seat is not too much to ask for, isn’t it?
09. Unless you bring your own maid onboard, wipe that lavatory clean! There is an ancient proverb that says your genital is only as clean as the inflight lavatory you left after you use it, and that rings true until today.
If I miss anything, do remind me and fill up the Comment box. Thanks!