Prometheus (2012) – A Blonde Review

2011, USA. (R). Action, Horror, Sci-Fi. Director: Ridley Scott. Writers: Jon Spaihts, Damon Lindelof. Cast: Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Idris Elba, Logan Marshall-Green, Guy Pearce.

This is like … the coolest scientific fiction I’ve ever seen. I mean, OMG! I’m a big fan of Alien Anthology because those movies are like truth to me. They are so layered with deep, meaningful meanings. But Prometheus is something else. It’s like the beginning of those meaningful meanings. The beginning of, well, us.

You know how I sometimes wake up in the morning (after a terrible hangover) and asking to myself, “Who am I? Where am I? Who’s this sleeping right beside me?” Well, Prometheus understands me and my deep thoughts. The dialogues are so like philosophical. I bet the director – something-something Scott – has been thinking of each and every line in Prometheus all his life. I mean … it’s true, right? If we meet Mother Alien, surely the first question that we would like to ask her will be, “Why did you create us?” We wouldn’t care for anything else. We wouldn’t care if Mother Alien wants to eat us, or anal-probe us, or whatever. We’d ask that genuinely smart question.

Prometheus starts with a series of beautiful pictures. I ponder upon them deeply and understand that something-something Scott wants to show how, as human beings, tiny and insignificant we are. And then, there’s a gigantic flying saucer that is so huge. And then, we are introduced to a couple of most genius scientists who believe that some Polka-dots in the caves all around the world direct us to the beginning of mankind. I mean … OMG! I have tons of Polka-dotted fashion stuff, but I’ve never realised that they actually have hidden message! Aliens are so genius, aren’t they? So fashionable.

Well, the scientists then fly with a space ship called Prometheus – rather coincidentally bears the same name with the movie title – for years and years, and finally reach a big planet with a ring on it. (You know, like that Beyonce’s song. If you liked it then you should’ve put a ring on it.) I bet it’s Jupiter. Well, they call the planet Louis Vuitton something-something. Then they land on the planet, and they find a series of mammoth-sized igloos put neatly on a line. And then, they start exploring those igloos, and they find a big head that looks like something you see in Christmas Island. Wait, no. Easter Island.

Then the story rolls to more dialogues, not too much rude actions, and even more deep philantropical questions like why the aliens created things then destroyed them? Oh, my. I can’t believe that there are so many “why”s in this life. Prometheus opens my eyes real wide.

In short, you all really have to see this, and I guarantee that you will never look at life the same way again. And you will stop thinking that aliens are bad. This is the moral of the story. Aliens may be our makers. Do not mess with them. Pray to them. I give Prometheus 9.75/10 stars just because nothing is perfect. Amen.

5 comments
  1. dennyed said:

    Hahaha…oh God… Jessica Simpsons, is that you?
    This is the best movie review I’ve ever read. You sound like Oprah in less fancy package. I knew it! I always know that blondes are supposed to be more fun. Hail yeah, Lia Tiga Macan!

  2. Hahahha… I’m so entertained by this review. Thank you, you’ve brought joy. But has the movie answered the ultimate question? ‘Who is that person beside you in your bed?,

  3. omg omg omg, I can hear the blonde talking xD
    belum nonton dan kayaknya ngga bakal, tp belum2 saya udah ngerasa review ini bakal lebih menghibur daripada filmya:mrgreen:

  4. charvity said:

    Something-something Scott!!! :))))

  5. tyazism said:

    Mega lol!! Something-something Scott?? Huahaha

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